At the beginning of this new year, I discussed with my dad the desire to stop writing about my past (drug addicted) life, and focus my writings on something else (anything else). I have plastered throughout this website my testimony. You may be tired of reading about my 17+ year drug addiction, and I may be tired of writing about it. However, it is evident that God wants to use my past to speak directly to the hurting, hung-over, dizzy, depressed, lonely, weak… souls that are running out of options, and are hurting themselves to death.
You could say that I have turned my life around. You could say that God didn’t walk away from me, but rather I walked away from Him. You could say that I’m trying to run back to God. You could say that I ‘back slid’, sliding many years further and further away from God. But God gave me the wisdom to know that I can’t run to God when He has been carrying me all along.
My new joy for life could be bottled up and sold for billions of dollars, but I’m here to tell you that you can have this same joy for
Cinderella Tears
Over the past seven years, the main events that seem to be the most ‘grand’ to my heart are my dances with Cinderella (my 7-year-old-daughter Lauren Grace). I say Cinderella just to give you an idea, but believe me when I say ‘Cinderella don’t hold a candle next to my Lauren Grace’.
Every chance I get, I sweep Lauren up in my arms and we DANCE! Last night at AWANAS, before the kids poured into the sanctuary, I held Lauren in my arms and we danced as though we were the only people left on Earth.
The title of this inspiration is ‘Cinderella Tears’. Yes, the word ‘Tears’ could describe my tears of joy from dancing with my princess, but I’m afraid the tears that are flowing down my face as I type this are not all tears of joy.
Looking back, the day I quit smoking marijuana was the happiest day of my life, but on that day which God helped me quit, was not so ‘happy’. It took God’s supernatural strength to ‘get’ me through those agonizing days ahead - fighting Satan and his temptations. My mind still craves the desire to smoke. But I’m getting ready to ‘teach’ you WHY I’m not eager to run back to that dreadful lifestyle.
There are many reasons WHY I wouldn’t run back to my drug-addicted lifestyle, but the one that stole my cake is this:
Each year at Fellowship Christian Church in
On the day of the ‘ball’ (just as the story of Cinderella), the first thing her mother and I do is present Lauren with a gorgeously-decorated gown (the most beautiful dress we can find).
Watching this little girl’s gorgeously-decorated and most beautiful heart and eyes glisten, (opening wider and wider) (with eyes more beautiful than Cinderella’s), is quite thrilling... Lauren has lived without some of the ‘finer’ things in life, as did Cinderella, and the grand ‘opening’ of this fairytale ball, with the showing of this dress, sets the stage for a miraculous evening indeed.
Once her handsome prince (yes that’s me) dresses in his finest clothes, and after many pictures are taken, we are off to the ball. The drive to the ball is, by far, one of my favorite slices of Heaven. I imagine the walks, rides, flies along Heaven’s golden streets will be similar to these drives to the ball.
I begin the drive floating above the world, and the cares of the world slips away. After daddy says a prayer like no other, I listen to Lauren’s heart and dreams as I reassure her time and time again that she is truly the most beautiful princess ever, and I don’t stop telling her this until she believes it!
We stop at our first destination (Krogers), just to add more time to the drive (this drive that Lauren’s daddy never wants to end). As we walk (holding hands) in our grandeur and glory throughout the store, many eyes focus on the fairytale couple, and many nice gestures are blown our way as we stroll along to the garden of colorful flowers.
The princess herself chooses the flower best for the occasion, then we are off to a similar event which takes place in the isle of smooth and creamy chocolates (America displays chocolates like no other, it is truly a mouth-watering sight to see). Lauren enjoys selecting the largest chocolate candy bar she can find.
Lauren and I feel like stars once again as we slowly make our way to the checkout isle and out the door. Fortunately, this fairytale evening has only begun, because these evenings are the most spectacular in daddy’s heart.
Did I mention Lauren in all of her beauty? If I failed to do so, then you are missing the best part of the story.
We finally arrive at the ball, and the prince opens the door to the exciting 'palace'. Streams of sparkly streamers of heaven great us at the door, and the sounds of sweet music off in the distance is now pounding within our hearts. The servants at the door insist on taking another picture of the lovely couple, as we enter another slice of Heaven indeed.
This year, we were the first mysterious couple to arrive, so we took full advantage of the empty dance floor. The handsome prince lifts the princess higher and higher in the air and twirls her around in his heart. (This my friend is what fairytales are made of and what God is all about –
Then, all of a sudden, the evil step-mother arrives at the ball, and the years of smoking take its toll. An arrow of TRUTH shoots into our lungs, because the lovely couple both suffer from Asthma. The prince knows in his heart that the young princess probably has this shortness of breath from her parent’s years of smoking. The prince tried everything he could to keep this smoke away from his children, but the lingering smoke on daddy’s clothes was enough to have this cause and effect.
Fortunately for the lovely couple, a beautifully decorated parlor with: chairs, sparkling red punch, and trays of cookies lie out for their display on eloquent tables (set up for a King). Each time the couple tires, they escape the evil Step-Mother of the past, and enjoy the much-needed rest and quiet, listening to the pounds of their hearts for one another.
As we catch our breath, we smile and greet many other lovely couples. The scores of little girls are dressed with dangly earrings, diamonds and pearls, ribbons, white gloves, and flowing gowns. The princesses fill their tummies with sweets as the pumpkins (I mean prince(s) say hello to each other with the same glowing 'cheesy' grins.
The fun night of twirls and whirls lasts and lasts with the Hokey Pokey, Electric Slide, Butterfly Kisses, and many other special slow songs to encourage us to hold tight the precious gifts that God has so graciously given us freely and without hesitation.
Each couple seems to have surrounding them God’s loving smile and tender heart (each step of the way). I’m reminded again and again how blessed I truly am. Somehow I realize again and again how undeserving I am, but I choose again and again to focus on my little princess instead of the evil step-mother. I am able to choose this evening of joyfulness, simply because God decorated the ball with His Amazing Grace. Thank you God!!! Praise Your Holy Name!!!
The prince brings tears to his eyes as the night slips away. He knows this night of miracles is coming to an end. But, just then, God’s Amazing Grace fills the ‘young’ man’s heart again with the revelation that as long as God extends this Amazing Grace, this Amazing Love between the father and daughter can continue! They can continue dancing, again and again, each and every chance they get. God doesn’t end His miracles at
When the thought of death to his lovely princess came to his mind, the threat that could end these Earthly dances, the prince was reminded that God’s destination for him and his lovely princess, and the special dances, will continue for all eternity.
I especially enjoyed this year’s dance with 'Cinderella', because we slipped away to the parking lot and twirled and whirled under God’s magnificent moonlight, with the loud music still playing within our hearts.
The evening did come to a lovely end, as the prince gave the princess one last butterfly kiss, along with a special letter that he wrote to her at the ball. The princess then slipped away in a deep sleep, with a warm smile, and God’s glowing Grace of protection and Amazing Love.
The days following the ball were filled with story-telling and excitement as the couple relived that maginificent evening over and over again. The lovely prince (not frog) and princess are still together today and will always love happily ever after.
I wish, truly wish I could end this inspiration here. But, as I said in the beginning of this inspiration, God has called me for a higher purpose, and I need to obey His call.
This summer was the first dance I truly remember dancing with my Cinderella. Each passing day (away from my drugs) is a new day, a brighter day full of vivid colors! Yes, when I focus on the Truth as I am doing now, tears of sadness overwhelm me. Knowing that my 7 years full of Cinderella dances were less vivid and less remembered. Regret, truth, heart-ache, lost wages, disobedience to God, could truly tear one’s heart out, and the truth of the matter is this: many dad’s kill themselves daily from this type of regret and lack of hope.
The prince in this story however, chooses to TRUST in The Lord, and continues to be blessed by it all. “Blessed is the man who TRUSTS in The Lord” Jeremiah 17:7. If I let these tears of sadness and despair consume me on a daily basis, all future ballroom dances are in jeopardy. God’s Amazing Grace gives me
There are 2 lovely songs below.
God Bless!
In His Lovely Hands,
Love You Lauren Grace!!!
Thank You Jesus, Father, and Holy Spirit!!!
Sincerely found and now I see VIVIDLY,
The Handsome-Hearted Prince, Glen (
P.S. If you have been reading my writings from the start, you have noticed as I have the TRUTH, that my writings are more colorful and better written. Please pray for me as I continue to write the first chapter of my book 'I Am FREE Indeed'. Writing this chapter is so hard to write, as I am bringing to surface MANY painful life experiences. God, please help me! Help Others!