God has given me some very unique talents. I can stand on my head, still at age 37. I can imitate about 30 voices off of t.v., mostly cartoon characters. I can roller-skate fast backwards. I can run fast, flip on the trampoline, back-dive off of the edge of a swimming pool, drive a semi-tractor-trailer, type 70 wpm, (make kids, elderly, crippled, and the depressed laugh), sing, be a funny clown, provide administrative assistance to Presidents (of fortune 500 companies), Vice Presidents, Human Resource Directors, Plant Managers, Day Care Administrators... On-site Supervise hundreds of employees at once along with completing payroll, human resources, safety training...at multiple locations. I can sell almost anything including funeral home supplies, Kerby sweepers, American Express corporate travel and credit cards, Iams pet food, yellow-page advertising, temporary employment services, door-to-door sales... Handle 15 phone lines at once...
Then why in the world could I not be a preacher?
First let me tell you about the talents of my mouth.
I can say the Gettysberg Address in 30 seconds (which is 7-8 words/second). I can fit almost 65 grapes in my mouth at once. I can make someone believe almost anything. I can sell almost anything worth very little at high-quality prices. I could be a very smooooooth talker and make my face be extremely believable while being a smoooooth talker.
I met with a pastor a few years ago and told him that I felt led to be a pastor. He told me that if God wanted me to be a pastor, then I would have a 4-year degree, preferably at a Christian college and then seminary school before the age that I was: 30. That if God wanted me to be a preacher, then I wouldn't have been a convicted felon (at age 18).
Well lets just say I was quite upset when I left the pastor's office. So much so that I left his church and didn't set foot back into a church for 2 years. I knew in my heart the stories in the Bible. I read about the young sheppard boy David that turned into a King. Moses had a speech impediment and God asked Him to do an important task that required alot of talking. Saul/Paul was a murderer of Christians and we all know the 'millions' of souls he has reached for Christ.
With my talented mouth, I just knew that could lead many to Christ.
It has now been 7 years since my conversation with the preacher and I've had plenty of time to analyze why I'm not a preacher. As I told you before I am now 37. It has taken me 37 years to get my heart in the right place, and learn what a true Christian is. Yes, I had many talents, many to do with my big mouth. But, my tongue was a powerful sword and it did a ton of damage. Talking fast and smooth is what I hear many Christians do, but the damage it does that comes out of their mouths is quite unbelievable. I guess that is why some people can't tolerate my writings and some love them.
Over the past several months of me writing from my heart (again with God's help), I have heard many things that contradict themselves. For example, one replied e-mail said "I can see you being a preacher someday", and another said "you need Christian counseling". "Your e-mails are very powerful and I appreciate you sending them to me". Then other loved ones have quit talking to me completely.
Now, when I first began to write these e-mails, I only sent them out to about 10-15 people (my immediate family members and key Christians that I thought loved me because they said so often). The response was amazing but not all that shocking. At first, all I did was send out 3 testimonies about what God and God alone has done in my life. I did drugs for years and smoked for 25+ years, I lied often, and my very talented tongue hurt more than it healed. Well, I was extremely excited that God had finally changed my heart enough and gave me enough wisdom to lay down my drugs, stop smoking completely, and began controlling my tongue.
I was so excited what God did for me that I immediately e-mailed friends and family to SHOUT was God had done for me!!! Today, I am still extremely excited!!! I just read in Psalms that King David referred to this excitement that he had in His heart to "oil of joy". Today, I believe that I too have this same oil of joy, because I can't stop singing, jumping up and down, lifting my hands, twirling around, telling my neighbors, signing up to serve...
However these e-mails were not well received. My true 'friends' that 'loved' me so much responded this way: "You are too Holy for me" (this person quit talking to me completely and is an 'excellent' Christian and family member). "You are sending your personal information out to too many people", "You must be embarrassing Jessica (my wife)". "You weren't really a drug abuser", "You really didn't smoke that long". "You are just trying to get attention". I could give you names of people that know me well enough to know that I was a drug abuser... (just ask my wife).
If I were trying to receive attention, then I would want good attention, not make myself vulnerable (in writing) all of my life-long bad habits and weaknesses. If anyone out there is feeling sad for me, don't. I lied for years to these family members and friends, they had no idea that I did drugs...
I did however reply back to these negative statements in a 'firm' way, because I knew the truth and none of these folks were perfect (again the Bible told me so). These were also the same friends and family that will never share a weakness in the name of Jesus, and are considered 'self-righteous' by many, and they are the folks that will use their 'sharpened tongues' to destroy others in conversations, and they probably do think they are near 'perfect'. Also, I gave them mercy, because God is the one to change their hearts, not me. And God has definitely given me mercy and a million second chances.
If I were ordained as a preacher any sooner than these past 2 years, I would have told people things like this: Marijuana is not all that bad, many people do it. If the government would legalize it, most prescription medicines would go away. Gossip is o.k. if it is constructive criticism and said in the right manner. Little-white lies aren't harmful if it makes others feel better about themselves and brings them closer to God. Having a clean and 'orderly' house is better than spending time with your kids (for the kids safety of course). Now, I may not have said these things in this manner, but in a roundabout way, I'm sure I would have.
Do you know what I have learned from reading the red words in the Bible? Jesus said: "Sell your possessions and give to the poor", "I came not to condemn, but to save those which was lost, I care more about the one sheep that is lost than I do about the 99 that are found, the one that owes $5,000 and is not required to pay the money back is more likely to be more thankful and loving than the one that is forgiven $500, I didn't come for the rich, powerful, righteous, strong. I came for the poor, broken hearted, lame, blind..., I don't have a problem being with sinners, it's the priests I have a problem with because they don't need me (Jesus), I forgive completely because I gave all, I love you NO MATTER WHAT YOU'VE DONE, laying down your life is the greatest gift you can give someone, do not judge others or my father will bring more judgment on you, you must lose your life for my sake, your tongue either heals or hurts, my father judges your heart not your actions.......
Let me tell you that I have done some terrible things in the eyes of Christians, but I've always had a good heart. I didn't use my mouth skills to rip the elderly off. I gave up a good job once so a co-worker with kids could keep hers, I left companies that asked me to be unethical and rip people off... Sometimes you can't always look at the cover. Yes, on the outside I did crazy things like smoking, but my heart kept me from doing the millions of things wrong that I knew was wrong.
If you have a loved one that is addicted to drugs, let me ask you a question. Is he/she out killing people, robbing banks, raping others...? It's not always what the person is doing, please take into consideration what this person is not doing. Let me ask you another question. Are you being an encourager in this person's life? Or are you playing Judge, Juror, Prosecutor, Critic, Gossiper...
Folks everyone needs encouragers, especially when they are at the BOTTOM.
I wouldn't be writing today, if it weren't for the 2 encouragers that were on my testimony e-mail list. Out of 10-15 recipients, 2 came back with positive feedback. These will be the ones I go to in the future when I have problems. I don't really want to hear advice anymore from the ones that seem to have no problems, to this day can't say they are sorry to anyone, and the only sins you hear from their mouths are the sins of others...
Yesterday was amazing to me at church, so let me keep writing. Those that hate long e-mails have stopped reading along time ago. Our church service was 'card-board testimony' service. If you don't know what that is, just click on the link at the end of this e-mail. It is where a person gets on stage and holds up a card board sign. The front side of the board is the negative sign. Mine said: Felon, Drugs, Attempted Suicides 4. The other side of my sign said this: Forgiven, Healed, JOY, Thank You Jesus!
If you are struggling to flip your board to the positive sign, note this. God sees you for your positive side, you may be the one holding on to the negative side. It is time to flip your board. When we use our weaknesses to reach others for Jesus Christ, it may be embarrassing at first, but then you will realize what Apostle Paul discovered and I too: God's power is made perfect in weakness! When you go about your day acting righteous and showing others your perfect self, it is not reaching others for Christ, it may be turning them away. Jesus didn't get angry with people's sins, he got angry when He knew all were sinful and the Priests, etc. acted like they knew it all. I always knew there was something missing from Christianity. It wasn't until I read the red letters (what Jesus said) that I started liking church and Christianity. Do you have religion or Jesus?
Could you imagine that me (the felon) had a line of people come up to me after church service, giving me phone numbers and names of their children hooked on drugs, asking me to call them and to pray for them. Their tears showed me just how desperate they were for me to do this. Do you know how many people told me thank you for showing my vulnerability and weaknesses. I think I'll hang onto the encouragers in life versus the naysayers.
Today, Jesus is my super-hero!!! He didn't come to die for the self-righteous, self-centered, the over achiever, he came for me. The one lost sheep that didn't deserve rescuing. The prodigal son...
I lied again, Jesus did come for you 'perfect' people too.
I was blind all these years, because I really didn't know who Jesus really was. That is why I'm not a preacher today.
I'm not sure I'd even want to be a preacher and my hat goes off to them. There are too many critic, too many people with all the 'right' answers, too many 'important' people, too many chiefs and not enough Indians. These are the same reasons I'd rather be an Administrative Assistant than a manager.
I was blind, but now I see. I wasn't healed by any of my friends and loved ones that I turned to. It wasn't until I read the red words for myself that healed me.
THANK YOU JESUS FOR THE WISDOM AND THE OIL OF JOY!!!
Oh, yah, the title of this e-mail: Big Fingers for God. I once had a big mouth for myself. Now I have big fingers, typing for God.
In Jesus Name,
Love, Glen